The disciples’ request of Jesus in Luke 11, “Teach us to pray,” highlights the ongoing difficulty that many of us experience in prayer. We mostly believe there is power in prayer, but we often lack the power to do it. We are never quite sure whether or not we are doing it “right,” and we are also easily distracted. In desperation, we cry, “Teach us to pray!” So let’s see if we can address these issues in order that we might both more fully enjoy prayer and be more effective at it.

One theologian delightfully states that “to be made in God’s own image is to be a creature with whom God can strike up a conversation.”1 To draw near and connect with God is at the very core of the vocation for which we were created. Humanity’s rebellion against God in the fall upended that. But, the gospel story is that we who were once far away have been brought near by the blood of Christ (Eph. 2:13). Through Jesus’ work on the cross, we have peace with God and have gained access to this grace which enables us to cry, “Abba, Father” to our Maker (Rom. 5:1, 8:15). When we draw near to God, we are promised he will draw near to us (James 4:8). The conversation that had been thwarted has been restored.

Still, though the privilege of conversation has been restored, it does not mean that we are good at it or are unintimidated by it. The discipleship wheel, which is our tool to help people take ownership of their own spiritual formation at Redeemer Downtown, encourages the practice of daily devotions. In that practice we have asked congregants to consider a minimum 10x10 practice - 10 minutes of Bible reading and 10 minutes of prayer. With that in mind we ask, “how can we grow in our ability to converse with God?”

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Two Primary Kinds of Communication

First, when we are speaking and God is listening (as opposed to the initial action where God is speaking and we are listening), it is helpful to realize that there are two primary kinds of communication going on: communication that connects us to God and communication that attempts to get things done. In words of adoration, thanksgiving, confession and lament we strive to connect honestly with God. We praise God, offer our gratitude, acknowledge where we have failed God and let God know where we are confused and hurting. In words of petition and intercession we work with God to see healing and mending occur in our lives and in our world. We get in on the action to see his “Kingdom come on earth as it is in heaven.” This dual reality is present in our most important relationships with friends and spouses. We both connect with them emotionally and then make plans to get things done together.

The late David Powlison further divides intercession into three helpful categories: “circumstantial prayers, wisdom prayers and kingdom prayers.”  

1. Sometimes we ask God to change our circumstances and the circumstances of others: heal the sick, give us our daily bread.
2. Sometimes we ask God to change us: deepen my faith, give me wisdom, teach us to love one another.
3. Sometimes we ask God to change everything by revealing himself more fully: “Your Kingdom come on earth.” 

He adds, “When any of these three gets detached from the other two, prayer tends to go sour.  If you just pray for better circumstances, God becomes your errand boy – no sanctifying purposes, no higher glory.  If you only pray for personal change, then it tends to reveal a self-absorbed spirituality detached from other people and the tasks of life. If you only pray for the sweeping invasion of the Kingdom, then prayers tend toward irrelevance and overgeneralization.”² Some find that taking a 3x5 card, dividing it into 7 days on front and back, and making a list of what they will pray for in each category on the seven different days of the week helps them to cover their bases.

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The Mechanics of Prayer

As to the mechanics of prayer, I offer two things:

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First, you must set aside time. In other words, there must be some discipline. If you don’t make time to connect with your friends or your spouse, the relationships remain superficial. A commitment to connect with God at the same time daily (or multiple times – morning, noon, and evening) is essential for most of us.

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Second, pray out loud (even if quietly!). Through the centuries, most Christians have been taught to engage in private prayer out loud rather than allowing the prayer to be lost in the interiority of their own minds. Silent prayer generally does not allow prayer to blossom into full-throated, honest conversation. Again, Powlison writes, “In the Psalms, relationship with God is happening out loud…It is fair to say that having a ‘quiet time’ is a misnomer. It is more of an out loud, ‘noisy time’! When you talk out loud, you express the reality that you are talking with someone else, not simply talking to yourself inside your own head. ‘Silent prayers’ are not wrong, but they are the exception. Even in Scripture’s silent prayers, the essentially verbal nature of prayer is still operative. Prayer expresses blunt, head-on, heartfelt need, gladness and gratitude.”³ Though there are a plethora of benefits to praying out loud, a significant benefit is that it is much harder for your mind to wander when your mouth is engaged. Try it. You’ll like it! Trust me.

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Resources for Prayer

Finally, some resources I have found profoundly helpful.

1. First, the Bible itself. Immerse yourself in the Psalms which has always been the primary prayer book for both Jews and Christians. Also, look at the prayers of the New Testament, both the Lord’s Prayer and Paul’s prayers which are scattered throughout his epistles. Incorporate their language in your own prayers.
2. Second, few books have been more helpful in teaching me how to pray than John Baillie’s A Diary of Private Prayer. If you feel like you get stuck saying the same things over and over again, Baillie’s book offers a morning and evening prayer for every day of the month which will give you words that are fresh and with which your heart will reverberate.
3. Third, consider using Philip Reindeers’ Seeking God’s Face, a daily prayer and bible reading guide which will get you listening to God, praying the Psalms, and offering you fresh language for personal prayer.
4. Finally, the above quoted devotional by David Powlison, Take it to Heart. Though it only offers occasional prayers, my wife Rebecca and I find it unique among devotionals. It speaks with substance to the heart and makes you yearn to be more fully connected to our Creator and Lover of our Souls.

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Learning to pray is a journey. We easily get thrown off course. The more you know that, the less you will be thrown by seasons of prayerlessness, and the more you will be able to pick yourself up off the ground and get after it again!

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